His male hooking business takes a few episodes to properly get off the ground despite the fact that he doesn’t need to waste time with extenze male enhancements, his pimp just isn’t a very good pimp. I was expecting it to be a little more like Californication, more comedy and less drama, but now that they’re in to a second season I think maybe things will improve with the show.

We are always looking out for high tech stuff – just like the wife looking for  best diet pill all the time -  so when we saw this recommended at Apartment Therapy  – of course – the wife also had to take a look at it.  She is like the kind who wants to look cool without being too technical – but you know where I’m coming from right. And at the price of $24.99 – you can really go wrong at Quirky.   As I’ve said before it’s cordless – so it’s safe even in a baby’s room – and it wakes you up by lighting up the LED light in it and sound.  And what’s good about cordless alarm clock?  when the kid needs to get ready for school, she can bring it in – and time herself – and you don’t need to go shouting at her first thing in the morning and hurt her feelings – like the wife said – i’m so getting it!

What better way to say “Bling Bling motherfucks” than by hanging one of these lovely gold initial pendants around your neck. It’s definitely more subtle than this dude with the gold plated segway.

Yes I admit it, I spend way more time at somethingawful.com than is probably healthy, but what can I say? There’s a lot of funny ass shit going on there. Photoshop Phriday last week was one of the funniest I’ve seen in a long time.

First off after entering a picture you have to go through some settings like telling where the eyes and mouth are, and the general shape of the face. After that was ready I had a bunch of options to choose from including facial hair, hairstyle, accessories, makeup and so on. Being that I’m just using a free trial a lot of the options are locked, but I was still able to fancy him up a little. A white beard and ’stache, along with a ‘messy’ white hairdo make him look a little older and not so rough around the edges.

I tried out some of the bling but most if it just looked cheesy, so I just opted for a pair of glasses. Amazing how much smarter an ogre can look when he’s wearing glasses. A little color added to the cheeks helped with the green look, although I guess it’s fun being the Hulk and smashing things with his fists. There was just no help for the fangs though. Now if only SOE had included a little more customization options when they designed the game! And now I’m off to pulverize some more bear cubs to reassert my masculinity. If ogres aren’t your thing, check out the makeover gallery to see some real people, made over.

Now that my new blade was sharp enough to slice through skulls it was time to find a suitable handle for it. The leg bones of a skeleton are tough but not just any skeleton will do, I need bones of a pirate soaking in the salt waters off the coast to make a truly indestructible haft for my new weapon.

The problem with a bone handle is that once it gets wet with the blood of my enemies it may be a little hard to keep a good grip on, so I headed up north in search of leather. Elephant leather. It was a grisly afternoon spent crafting such a beast, but now, behold the glory that is… Chickenbane! Now if only I could actually wield it in battle :/

The inspiration for this, of course, is the ORly owl, spawned somehow someway at the Something Awful forums.

And no, I won’t be wasting my money to send back any response by fax. Email is free, faxes aren’t.